


"You put the D in DILF"

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, yeaaaah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 03:56:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18731137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: "Alec," said Lucifer as he was so done with Magnus and Asmodeus. The Shadowhunter was usually on his side and he whined again as Alec tried not to roll his eyes and he arched an eyebrow, pretending that he was interested when in reality couldn't be less interested into the whole thing and he sighed. "Is it true what they say? I look old?!"Magnus and Asmodaddy poke fun at Lucifer. That's it. That's the plot 😅





	"You put the D in DILF"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shiorino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiorino/gifts).



> Gifting this to my lovely soulmate ✨✨✨✨😏😏😏😏  
> I hope it's not too dumb 😅✨

The day was pretty chaotic at the Lightwood-Bane residence. Magnus' uncle, Lucifer decided to bother them that day and all was well until Magnus lost his cool with his whiny uncle and he ended up calling him a  _ whiny old man.  _ Now that hurt Lucifer's feelings, because even though he  _ was  _ old, he didn't look old… Right?  _ Right?!  _ Even worse was that Asmodeus was present in the room when that was said and couldn't stop laughing, congratulating his son because it was so true. Lucifer was older than him so Asmodeus was living for it, Magnus' words really having a big impact on poor, old Lucifer. He was his favourite nephew after all, so…

 

"Alec," said Lucifer as he was so done with Magnus and Asmodeus. The Shadowhunter was usually on his side and he whined again as Alec tried  _ not  _ to roll his eyes and he arched an eyebrow, pretending that he was interested when in reality couldn't be less interested into the whole thing and he sighed. "Is it true what they say? I look old?!" shrieked Lucifer and Alec looked at Magnus, who nodded to him and Alec rubbed the back of his neck.

 

"Give it up,  _ grandpa, _ " said Asmodeus and Magnus started laughing. He didn't laugh often at his dad's jokes, but this was just too hilarious and Lucifer gave them an offended look. Grandpa, as if! He still got it. The looks, the moves. Asmobaby was just being a dick to him like usually and he clicked with his tongue. "You're  _ old." _

 

"Nuh huh," said Lucifer and crossed his arms on top of his chest. "Alec, tell them. I'm still hot, right?" asked the devil and Alec was about to give up on humanity. The devil, Lucifer himself, was now whining on his shoulder and asking him if he was still hot.

 

"Oh, I see a grey hair," commented Magnus and Lucifer shrieked, quickly summoning a mirror and started scanning his hair. Alec looked at the duo, who was now laughing like crazy and Alec rolled his eyes. Ugh those two were really something else when together and poking fun at people.

 

"It's impossible, I'm immortal!"

 

"Well," said Asmodeus.

 

"You two are  _ evil _ ," exclaimed Lucifer and Alec snorted. Rich coming from the devil himself, wasn't it? Magnus and Asmodeus looked at each other and shrugged.

 

"Well, I  _ am  _ the King of Edom," said Asmodeus. "It's in my DNA."

 

"And I'm the Prince, so I'm following my dad's footsteps."

 

"That you are, my boy. You make your old man so proud," said Asmodeus happily and patted Magnus' back, happy gazing at his son. "You've got soft, brother."

 

"Alec," yelped Lucifer. "Say it isn't so! I'm not going grey am I? I'm still young, yes?" was he asking over and over again, hoping that at least Alec would come to his defence and Alec in the end just rolled his eyes, but nodded.

 

"Yes."

 

"See?" said Lucifer happily.

 

"You really put the D into DILF," said Alec and Lucifer's jaw dropped again, while Magnus started laughing again, Asmodeus shaking like crazy with laughter and Alec narrowed his eyes. What? What did he do now? He said he was hot, so-

 

"DILF?!" snapped Lucifer. "I'm not someone's  _ daddy _ , I'm too young to be-" he started yapping away again and Alec started sliding down the couch and he wanted to run away. So, he really was old, wasn't he?! No wonder that the detective didn't want to go out with him. She saw him more like a  _ father  _ figure. Lucifer was staring in front of himself, shaking his head, falling in despair. "I'm old as fuck," said Lucifer, face pale and he was rocking himself back and forth. "How could it be-"

 

"For the love of God," said Alec.

 

"Don't bring father into this," hissed Lucifer.

 

"You're still young, stop sulking," said Alec and Lucifer pouted. "You look younger than Asmodeus," he said innocently and fire was in the roof again.

 

"WHAT?!" snapped Asmodeus.

 

"What?" asked Lucifer. "There you go, baby brother, I am older _ and _ look younger," said the devil proudly. "Must be all that Edom air, blocking your pores," said Lucifer happily and Alec looked at Magnus, who was now face-palming himself as well and walked over to his husband, placing his hands on top of his sides.

 

"Puts the D in DILF?!" asked Magnus as he still wasn't over Alec's comment and Alec flushed, but rolled his eyes.

 

"I was trying to make him feel better, that's all," said Alec and rolled his eyes.

 

"That better be it. Because don't forget who's your daddy," said Magnus teasingly and he kissed Alec's cheek.

 

"You are," replied Alec despite his cheeks burning up and Magnus applied a long and sweet kiss on top of his cheeks. As Asmodeus and Lucifer continued fighting, Magnus had it enough and portalled himself and Alexander to a much more pleasant place…

 

Hawaii it was 🌴 🌊 🌞 ✨


End file.
